Saturday, February 26, 2005

From Christine's Blog: mmmmm, chocolate!

"Mmmmmm, Chocolate." -- Homer Simpson Posted by Hello

Well, I have to admit that this opinyun class is just flat out fun. We get to eat chocolate bunnies, bash terrible movies (or praise them, sorry Nick), compete for cash prizes, and pretty soon we’ll be at Phil’s drinking pitchers of... uh... soda. But what I enjoy the most are the people in the class. They are all spirited writers with something fun and constructive to say, which makes it more comfortable when I’m reading a peice of my own.
Along those lines, I feel like I’m in a creative slump. I’ve been bogged down by monetary policy theory tests in one class and analyzing the worldviews of philosophers, biologists, Christians, Deists, and even the characters of King Lear (to name a few) in another. Not to say that I don’t enjoy those things (because I really am a huge nerd), but it’s hard switching gears sometimes. Luckily though, one hell week is over, and I have all weekend to focus on my fiction/contest piece and a paper defending the freedom of the press.So, while I feel mentally exhausted, I’m ready to chill out and write something fun for next week. After all, there’s cold hard cash on the line, and there’s nothing better than mullah to motivate a college student…oh, and a good grade, self-improvement, yada yada.
…umm, no. It’s really just the cash.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Book naming contest!

Dear students and lurkers, (I changed the setting to allow anonymous posters for now)
My friend Lynn Anderson needs your creative thoughts for her student handbook. She's looking for a catchy title that will really fly off the book shelves. I'm offering a "prize" (it's going to be better than the ones I usually give!) for the best title submission. Submit as often as you like and ask your friends and neighbors. Lurkers,,,you may post too!
No ideas are bad ideas.
In fact, here's mine:

I Want My Mommy,,,a student's guide to everything they need to know to survive without their mother at the University of Alabama.

(The book is a listing of doctors, services, beauty salons, hotels, recreational facilities, hospitals, clinics and on and on. Her husband is a local doc and she gives insider tips for students looking for doctors. This is way way better than opening a Tuscaloosa phone book and trying to find someone. )

Dear Friends,
Once again I need your thoughts on my book ! ! !
I am searching for a "catchy" title.
The Parent/Student Handbook was as dull as it comes. After a year of research and reading everything I could I realize the Title is the most important part of the book.With the normal book buyer spending 4 seconds looking at a book it has to jump off the shelf at them. Put your thinking caps on and give me your thoughts on the subject. I appreciate any ideas. Lynn

Some ideas have been:
The Tide Guide
The University of Alabama student's Survival Guide.....parents too!

The Yellow Hammer
making it through The University of Alabama without any knocks

Go Alabama
an unofficial survival tool for students.......and parents!

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Bloggers and Rappers

How bloggers are like rappers. Thanks to Patrick Beeson for sending this Slate article.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Click here and dance!

Monday, February 21, 2005

La, me, Sister Jaunita
Posted by Hello

Friday, February 18, 2005

Hola mi amigos!

The healing powers of mud!

Well, I'm back from the "restorative" spa. A place with no phones, TV, email, computers, meat, alcohol, carbs, sugar or transportation. However, being the resourceful woman that I am, I did pay my cabbie to go fetch me a bottle of rum and some tonic. He offered to bring back a slow-roasted "pollo" but I forgot to mention, no in-room fridges..The whole time, I obsessed about chicken, hamburgers, margaritas, French toast, candy, gum and Law and Order re-runs. I even missed the class blog.

However, I must grudgingly admit, the absence of all of those things forced me to "disconnect." And once the disconnect began, a sense of peace began to creep through the day and into the evening. The day began with a vigorous hike into the mountains where wildflowers bloomed and waterfalls cascaded over volcanic rock. From one ledge was a spectacular view of Mt. Tequila, which made me really really wish for a frozen margarita. After the hike, it was time for a yummy breakfast of eggs and fruit. Next came yoga, stretching and then lunch--salad and fruit. Afternoons included a massage or mud wrap and relaxing by the hotsprings fed pool, all while sipping water with a high concentration of--lithium. Hmmm, maybe that's where the restorative part came in.

After sundown, a delicious dinner of soup and salad and stewed fruit for dessert. The fresh squeezed lemonade made a nice mixer for the Mexican rum discretely stashed in my water bottle. I felt like an under-age college student sneaking into a bar.Following dinner was a lecture from one of the guest speakers. I learned about hypnotherapy, how to get back your power, how to heal yourself with a freaky little machine called Bio-resonance. "Bio-boy" had a very disturbing hairpiece, a lisp and a way of looking straight at me while I pretended to cough to cover up my uncontrollable laughter.

The good news, I feel healthier, calmer, lighter and restored. The bad news? I now have to write 2,000 words about the whole thing.
I hope you are coming along with your movie reviews and your Newsweek topics.
See you next Thursday!
Senora Carolina

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Hell is hot, hot, hot

Andy Duncan's letter about evolution continues to stir it up. Today's Tuscaloosa News letter writer sends Andy right to hell.

Bible disproves theory of evolution
Sheila Beasley TuscaloosaFebruary 09, 2005

Dear Editor: Mr. Duncan, my Daddy had two sayings: 1. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing and 2. Education doesn’t always mean intelligence.You keep saying you have proof that evolution exists, and you use the National Geographic as your source.Well, I have proof that evolution is a crock and I use God’s own word, as my source. Genesis 1 and 2 give account of how life was formed and Genesis 7 and 8 say there was a flood, but sorry, but it was Noah, not Darwin who stepped off the ark! As for humans being formed from amoeba, Exodus 4:11-12, and Psalms 139:13-16, call you a liar.You need historical proof, try Matthew 24:1-29. There are words predicting events we are seeing today, words written 2,000 years ago.Matthew 13:14-15 and Matthew 24:4-5 plainly warn me against people like you and Mark 8:38 spars no words describing your punishment for continuing to worship idols and false doctrines. Acts 10:42-43 says Jesus, not Darwin, was sent by God to save us and I guarantee you it won’t be Darwin waiting as you lay on your death bed.So please, get off your high horse! You laugh at Christians and call us ignorant, but believe me we are laughing at you and your attempts to push Satanism on the world. The Bible tells about that too, but also assures us that in the end God wins.And by the way, it’s called Darwin’s Theory!

Monday, February 07, 2005

Finding the funny

"State legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prevents them from running for a higher office."--Dennis Miller

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France accuses the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war and the three most powerful men in America are named, Bush, Dick and Colon. Need I say more?" ---Chris Rock

"I don't make jokes. I watch the government and report the facts." Will Rogers

The only way I can teach you how to be funny is to instruct you to read funny writers. My favorites include, Sedaris, Dave Barry, Rita Rudner, Mark Twain, Will Rogers and some of the funny websites like the Onion or
Okay. So you did that and you still don't know how to write something funny. This is a trick I learned from a comedy writer.

  • Make three lists
  • The first one: Things that worry you
  • The second one: Things that anger you
  • The third one: Things you fear

Pick something from one of the lists. My worry list has provided me with endless topics. For instance, right now, I'm worried that my psycho cat is secretly sleeping on Doug the Dog's favorite pillow. I keep finding long blond hairs on his pillow, he's lost weight, he is in a bad mood and he's just not acting like himself. She's been strutting around like she's got a secret. They appear to despise each other, but what if it's gone too far? What if while we are gone all day, she's sleeping in his bed? What next? Will she hide his chew bone? Will she curl up with his blanket?

If you still can't milk something funny from these lists, then make fun of something absurd. That's the easiest out. Make fun of guys who love their Ipods more than their girlfriends. Make fun of Judge Roy Moore. Or your teacher. Or your mother's worries, fears, anger. Put down humor is so third grade. But it usually gets a laugh.

Humor isn't easy but it's the only way to make it through life, sanity intact.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Proud to be a Bama Fan!
Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 03, 2005

What's that smell?

Tony Kornheiser, a funny guy I've followed for years, has insulted the great football town of Tuscaloosa in his Washington Post column about the Super Bowl. He's grousing about how redneck and stupid it is to hold the Superbowl in Jacksonville and shoots us in the heart with the sarcastic sentence: "What, Tuscaloosa was booked?"

Ouch. Come'on bloggers. Let's tell Tony what he's missing. Invite him to come speak to our class. Agree with him. Whatever. He's thrown down the gauntlet here.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Need lede

Prom dress

Thanks to Patrick and Major for sharing this tidbit from the NY Post. Seems the young prom bound crowd has a new prom look going. For next class, come with a short (skimpy) lede for an attack, praise, humor or any other kind of opinion piece about this dress. I've already used, "Oh. My. God." But that's because I have two girls going to the prom.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Journalists for Sale

Ooh, I love that Mini-Cooper!

Wanted: Journalism students who would like to earn money for their J-School. All you have to do is start a blog and write happy things about cars. Here's an example: "It's a great car. I love how great it runs. I love it's great greatness. Awesome. It rocks. Greatly."
Be creative. Don't worry about big words or AP style. Just say great things AND earn money for your school.

What do you think about this? Are you willing to blog for money? I mean, if the big boys are doing it like Ethics and Religion columnist Mike McManus, why not you? "Pay to Praise," the new trend in journalism, is not all that new. Check out Newsweek's Jonathan Alter's take on the issue. He writes about the MSM (mainstream media) and how they are "spitting into the soup."