Friday, August 19, 2005

Welcome and introductions!

Hello everyone! I am so sorry to miss the first day of class. Unfortunately, the Great American Trucking Show is this week. I write for three trucking magazines and have to attend.
On Tuesday, I will hand out a very detailed class schedule and we'll go through all the requirements. In the meantime, you will be receiving an invitation to join Blogger. Accept the invite and then post your McSweeney list and your I Believe statement.
I'm looking forward to meeting you on Tuesday. Don't panic. Don't drop.

Here's mine

I believe
by Carolyn Mason
That you can't always get what you want, you should master one physical and one creative thing, that if you are not happy alone, you are not happy, that yoga is bad for you, that a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup cures the common cold, that old people are worse drivers than teenagers, that grocery carts hate me, that I really don't know clouds at all, that babies and cell phones do not belong in beauty salons, that beauty parlor is a better name than salon which means parlor in the same way that pasta means spaghetti, that people who know a lot about wine, disaster flicks and the Civil War are not people who like me, that mutts make smarter, better pets than purebreds, that pot heads are nicer than drunks, that saying, "I was wrong" is the most powerful sentence you can ever use, that the end of a friendship hurts more than poking a stick in your eye, that freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose, that a good marriage doesn't take hard work, that making pie crust from scratch is an act of love, that no woman should ever wear white sandals under any circumstances, that men who are losing their hair should buzz it off, that kids should not listen to their parents' music, that Harper Lee wrote it, that the mafia killed JFK and finally, that tomorrow is another day.

My McSweeney List
Places other than the side of the road where people die but don't have little white crosses marking the spot.

Cookie aisle of grocery store
Shower stall at the YMCA
Backyabarbecuee barbeque pit
Arts and Crafts room of the nursing home
Emergency waiting room
Bottom of algae covered swimming pool
Buffet line in Vegas
The toilet